Without boundaries, you’re inviting people to disrespect you by taking control of your time, energy, and efforts. You have difficulty saying “No,” because of the guilt you feel, and so you say “Yes,” even to those requests you don’t want to do, and that takes time away from those things that are really important to you.
Without boundaries, you’re endangering your health and well-being – and leaving your destiny to someone else. You’ll quickly lose self-confidence in yourself to accomplish anything worthwhile – and you’ll be bound in life without the power to stand up for yourself and what you believe.
Living without boundaries can make you subject to all types of manipulative and controlling people who will drag you in and out of relationships and make your life miserable.
Many people have developed rigid boundaries that protect them from emotional or physical hurt. Other boundaries involve your social status and genetic makeup.
If you’ve set too rigid boundaries for yourself, you may seem like an impenetrable force to others and seem unapproachable. Others hardly set any boundaries for themselves and are subject to manipulation and physical and mental abuse.
Physical – Those boundaries relate to how you react to people coming into your personal space.
Mental – These boundaries involve your opinions and values. You could be manipulated easily if you don’t have strong mental boundaries.
Material – How you feel about lending your personal things is a good representation of material boundaries.
Spiritual – Judgmental and manipulative people tend to prey on those who have little or no spiritual boundaries.
Emotional – When healthy emotional boundaries are in place, you tend to accept responsibility for yourself and expect others to act appropriately.
All of these types of personal boundaries need to be developed in your life to protect yourself from control and abuse by others. There may be glaring reasons for you to change or set new boundaries in your life. For example:
Trouble saying “No.” Your personal time should be in control of you at all times. When you begin to feel angry or frustrated that you’re spending so much time on things you don’t want to do that you don’t have time for yourself – it’s time to change the boundaries.
Lack of respect from others. Feeling that you have no respect from people in your life – from your boss to your kids – means that you should begin to stand up and demand the respect you deserve by setting crucial boundaries.
Being victimized. When you’re in a relationship or situation where you are a victim of abuse – either physical or verbal – your health and mental well-being will suffer. Setting boundaries is a sure way to get out of the victim mode.
Setting boundaries for yourself is extremely personal – and one set of rules won’t work for everyone. That’s why it’s important that you know the areas where your boundaries need to be set or revamped and you give it the attention it deserves.
Your boundaries at work may be more of an issue for you than those with family members. It’s different for everyone – but everyone feels the same when their personal boundaries are being crossed. Knowing yourself and where you stand is the starting point for setting and enforcing boundaries.
